Two friends sadly will be unable to make it to the AFP show tonight in Falls Church, VA, so if you're in the area and don't have a ticket and available... I also have one seat left at a reserved table for dinner, $10 minimum not including spirits.

First two people to reply here or via twitter gets the tix.

When Mr. G is in China, he is unable to access the Journal at any time, but can read the title of each post via Twitter. I was really tempted, this past time, to play a little joke on him by entitling an entry something provocative, then beginning the entry (which would be hidden from him) by immediately making it clear that the title was a joke. Something like, "Mr. G to direct Dr. Who". ^_^

I had a good time out in Minneapolis. I saw some friends.

I will be at the AFP concert on the 19th. I have no idea what to wear. I doubt my new goblin ears will have arrived by then, alas. Maybe a "Lorraine a' Malena" shirt? That might be suitably obscure, and concert-appropriate. I've never seen AFP live. I'm looking forward to it. Will any of you be there? We could plan something, perhaps...

I'm happy to see that Mr. G's posting frequency is up of late. I hope that he continues to have fun with it.

I am sick. I was fine with it until this morning. Now I've reached the "it sucks" stage of sickness. Blegh.

Happy 5th of November, all.

"Dan Guy" isn't some diminutive pen name, it's my actual first and middle names; my last is an Americanized "Fawkes". As unfathomable as it is to me now, my parents named me after Guy Fawkes.

Let this be a lesson to future parents: don't name your child after someone whom you don't want them to emulate. Names are powerful things.

---

If you don't see the previous locked post then you need to friend me so that I know that you're out there.

And, for the record, when I said that making a locked post made me feel mischievious, I didn't mean to suggest that I had any sort of mischief in mind, honest.

Mr. G is home. I also happen to be in the Minneapolis area. (It is a complete coincidence that I was also here last time he returned from a big international trip. I'm not here to assist with the decanting. Honest.)

---

( Mailbag time! )

Please feel free to ask more questions via LJ-internal email or Mr. G's Site Inquiry line; questions in comments to this post will be answered with further comments of my own.

I am finding that I have a much easier time posting, and feel more motivated to do so, when I have questions waiting to answer, or at least notes to which to reply.

So please, if it pleases you, ask away.

And if it doesn't, or if you've already asked everything that you would, then, well, I'm sure I'll get around to posting again one of these days.

I've been meaning to post for, oh, three months now?

When I got to the next section of "Psink", I decided I was disatisfied with it and ended up revising it in a way that further lead me to return to the first two parts and insert some things into them.

Then I was a bit stuck, because I didn't want to ask anyone to go back and re-read the again-revised first two parts, but bits in the third part made little sense otherwise.

At which point I decided that it would make more sense to wait until it was done and then serialize it, rather than write it in public, so to speak. I'm no Dickens.

And that is the belated explanation of where Psink went.

Welcome, new friends. Who knew that Mr. G was aware of this LJ?

Tomorrow I'm headed out to Boulder, Colorado for a week. Try not to break the internet while I'm gone.

Last night, I released an Oracular Orb app for Android.

I have to say, it's a good thing that I'm doing this for fun and for Mr. G's approval, rather than the approval of the Android Market commentors. I've watched them descend, like locust, upon well-meaning apps before, so I knew what to expect.

Gay!
Justin, 2009-06-18 10:27:18

Mildly amusing for 15 or so seconds. Uninstall!
Steve, 2009-06-18 08:46:58

Doesn't make any sense...
Melissa, 2009-06-18 06:04:53

Dude come on this is pure trash.
wessley, 2009-06-18 04:14:04

I dont have time to reed it
luke, 2009-06-18 02:48:54

Thankfully, there have been some Gaiman fans representing too:

Amusing and works just fine; looks like the same thing as on Neil's blog.
tom, 2009-06-18 06:38:31

The instructions alone make this a wonderful app. Hours of amusement and befuddlement ahead!
Jason, 2009-06-18 02:47:34

Awesome. If you aren't a Neil Gaiman fan then obviously you won't understand this. (And you're devoid of culture.)
Mark, 2009-06-18 02:45:28

This is great. :) if you don't get it, pick up a book sometime. Gaiman is one of the best authors of this time. This is pure fun and enlightening.
Diana, 2009-06-18 02:45:27

Wonderfully random. Thanks Neal!
Lrdbyron, 2009-06-18 02:33:59

Next up, the iPhone version. Probably.

...and here I am posting a short note asking for something.

I am the Guest of Honor Coordinator for Balticon, which takes place in Baltimore, Maryland over Memorial Day Weekend (May 22-25, 2009).

Item, the first :: Those of you who are able should totally come. Among the many excellent guests, Charlie Stross, Scott Sigler, Lisa Snellings, and Gene Wolfe will be there.

Item, the second :: I need Guest of Honor Liaisons for Charlie Stross, author Mark L. Van Name, the currently unannounced 2009 Compton Crook Winner, and artist Kurt Miller. Liaisons get free admission to the con and, for the very brave, the option to eat and sleep in the Berzerker's Lounge (a suite where volunteers are fed and, if they can find a spot on the floor, sleep).

It's a lot of fun. Don't make me beg.

Merry Christmas Eve Eve (and/or appropriately parallel relevant religious event of similar timing) to all of you.

The webgoblin is currently rolling slowly along in holiday traffic.
The webgoblin has decided to try speaking in the third person. This experiment has no suspense date as of yet.
The webgoblin is typing this on his G1, which Mr. G DID NOT send him for Christmas, but which Mr. G convinced him to buy himself for Thanksgiving. The webgoblin loves it to death and is currently writing apps for it, one of which may be neilgaiman.com-related.
The webgoblin contemplates pulling off of the highway in search of a decent milkshake.
The webgoblin is lactose-intolerant, but loves milkshakes. All of the shaky goodness, none of the weight gain; it's win-win.
The webgoblin wonders if that is TMI.
The webgoblin regrets nothing.
The webgoblin hears that Mr. G will be heading back to China and wonders if he'll be allowed to play with all the shiny levers and buttons again.

The webgoblin wishes you all a very merry holiday and hopes that all of you find a joyous completion to your year.

On a bit of a lark, I reactivated my resume on Monster last week. Queue flood of phone calls and emails.

And to my amusement, I discovered that I enjoy interviewing. I like selling myself. It's like doing stand-up.

So I'm flying out to Austin, TX this evening for an interview. Though I love my current day job, I've been there a long time and am starting to get a little cynical about the customer, which is never good for morale and productivity. Plus the contract might be ending soon.

So off to Austin I go, to sell myself again, skirt the knife's edge in technical interviews, and soon to 'scape the serpent's tongue.

I won't be there long, or I'd suggest that we attempt a meet-up. If any Austinite readers work in the airport or drive a cab, though, we should totally hang out.

Just a quick note to let you know that I'm still alive.

I've had an unfinished post sitting in a tab for weeks. I've forgotten what I wrote about in it. I'm in the car driving to work with my knees currently.

Halloween tomorrow! Fun. And election day here in "the States" soon after. Feels a little presumptuous, calling it the States. Like no one else has any states. Or "the US", like nowhere else are there any states that are united. And that just leaves "the United States of America", which just sounds too pretentious. And only works until Brazil decides to carve itself up into states, at which point we have to change all of the signs to "the United States of North America Excluding Canada". I think we're going to need wider signs...

I have added a new writer to my stable! (Not Scalzi. He never wrote back. I hope I didn't offend him or something.) It's very exciting. I won't tell you who he is until the site is done, but he's very cool. I've been a fan of his work since the summer of 1996.

I read Mr. G's latest post with some amusement. His life is full of these "coincidences". What crazy random happenstance! A guy who wanted to meet with you but who you didn't have time to see previously just *happened* to show up at one of your events -- for a completely unrelated reason! Yeah. That happens *a lot* to Mr. G. Like, nearly every time I get to see him.

I dug out an old HD and a suitable enclosure and managed to find that old Jewish Mysticism paper I mentioned previously, which several of you requested to see. I attempt to reproduce it below. This paper was a lark, not a serious scholarly exercise. Despite this there are only a few jokes within it.

( Proceed within with caution; the contents have already drawn one professional poker player into madness. )

Friend of the blog, Jagi, emailed me to ask when I was going to post again¹, and offered a suggested topic²: "Maybe about pumpkins. Pumpkins are cool..."

So. Pumpkins.

I like pumpkins. I like jack-o-lanterns. I like pumpkin bread⁴. I don't care for scooping out pumpkin innards⁵, but accept it as a necessary step⁶. I like pumpkin patches. I like Merv the Pumpkin Head and Jack the Pumpkin King⁷. I like girls who like pumpkin candles⁸ and pumpkin-scented lotions¹⁰. I have never had one of those pumpkin spiced latte things, because I don't drink coffee¹² -- or over-pay for beverages¹⁴. I like "It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown" well enough, I suppose¹⁵. I never really cared for Smashing Pumpkins, but nor did I actively¹⁸ dislike them.

And that's all I have to say about that.

What do you think the chances are of me convincing Mr. G to start using the <blockquote> tag rather than just bolding whatever he's quoting?

I'd say slim to none, alas.

---

Saturday went well. I still haven't entirely recovered. It was wonderful getting to meet so many of you, and seeing so many owl feather hats and black orchids. Those who brought me gifts and food have my particular thanks.

Someone in front of me in line (-- yes, I waited in the line with the rest of you, as that's 9/10ths the fun --) left a card addressed to me with Mr. G. The look on his face was priceless!

I hope that many of you will be able to get to one of his stops on this tour, though I know that realistically it will only be a small percentage of you that are able.

I'm going to try to get the "special Bill Hader introduction" online for the rest of us, though from the Twitters it sounds like Hader's introduction from NYCC08, which is already on YouTube.

Today I am wearing the only pair of jeans that I own, which are only the second pair that I have ever owned. I don't really see myself as a denim person. I wore slacks throughout high school¹. These jeans are the only pair of non-work pants that I own that are not frayed at the cuff and/or stained by ink across the groin, so I felt I had no choice. For those attending the Book Fest, I am also wearing a red shirt. And carrying a big box in plastic bags. You can't miss me.

I discovered last night that I no longer own a raincoat, or even a water resistant windbreaker. It's too warm² for any of the coats that I do have, so I'm going without and hoping that it won't rain (too hard).

I'll be getting there early, barring any unforeseen delays³, and will occupy my time taking and posting pics of the surprise⁴, I think.

I made a new post.

I started writing it on Sunday, so that's where it's showing up on flists, apparently, despite my updating the date before posting. Blegh.

Blogger's looking pretty nice about now...

I probably should have checked the out of order box.

---

In other news, I woke up this morning sick. Double-blegh.

Today I snuck into a gated community¹ to pet the horses and walk the path on the other side of the river. It always kind of rankled me that I was only able to walk my side of the river, which was nice and all, but the other side had a playground and horses. So today I combed my hair to the side and put on a big smile and drove right past the guard shack with a wave. The opposite bank of the river was deeper, a little boring, and covered in horse poo. There's a lesson there, I think⁴.

---

The National Book Festival is this weekend. Don't forget your owl feathers in your hats and/or black orchids in your button holes.

I haven't managed to procure either, and probably won't have time to before then⁵. I'll be the quiet one with the impish grin and the press pass. I'll also have a backpack or a messenger's bag with me and a box⁶.

Recall that there will be a generous fan giving copies of ODD AND THE FROST GIANTS to the first 20 or so people that she sees sporting a black orchid or owl feather.

The weather report is calling for rain Saturday, so you might also want to bring an umbrella or rain slicker.

---

I'm wondering if I should be doing this on Blogger instead. I like threaded replies, and already had the webgoblin account, but I hear that there's a limit on the total number of tags and I hate it when the replies collapse and I have to click a million places just to read them all. And I like the way that Blogger handles drafts better.

Theoretically, I suppose, someone with a paid LJ account could just create a syndicated LJ account from the feed. And I could disallow commenting on the blogger version to keep all of the comments in one place.

...

I dunno. Seems a bit complicated.


Faux tags: [if the answer isn't violence, neither is your silence] [what's black and white and has touch sensors all over?] [a million little pieces] [my grin is my passport, verify me?]

In defense of the above detour into more mainstream titling, Rihanna's "Disturbia" is the most Lovecraftian Top 40 hit ever. She really needed to throw in a verse about the Old Ones, or a little "wgah'nagl fhtagn", but I suppose some concessions must be made to the powers behind the charts. Ryan Seacrest is a jealous, thirsty god.

It's only my second real entry and I already have a devious new plan. I think we might all need goblin decoder rings. (You know: for kids!) If I can find an affordable supplier, those willing to go along with the distribution plan will get a little present. The distribution plan is the fun part. More as it develops.

I know I had wanted to say something about Kicking and Screaming¹, but I no longer remember what. I love the movie, and if you haven't seen it then you really should. It is endlessly quotable, much like the work of a certain Whedon, and contains an amazingly beautiful love story. (At this point, those of you who didn't immediately jump to the footnotes might be very confused.) In particular, those of you starting your senior year of college, or even high school, and those of you who completed your senior years last June should see it.

I'm going to stop here and go to bed, I think. I've been very tired lately. I don't know if I'm just getting older or if there's something medically wrong with me. I'm considering trying to switch to a polyphasic sleep schedule in order to feel more rested. It could be fun.


[1] Not the Will Ferrel one; the earlier film by Noah Baumbach².
[2] Perhaps you are familiar with his The Squid and the Whale? He also co-wrote The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou³ with Wes Anderson⁴.
[3] I have never been able to finish this film, or those that followed it⁵. I'm sorry. I've just never been able to get into the right mindset⁶.
[4] I saw Bottle Rocket in the theater during its initial run and didn't enjoy it all that much. I loved Rushmore, though, and The Royal Tenenbaums. For my opinion of his work since see #3.
[5] Actually, on second thought, I finished Hotel Chevalier. That was a short, though. And had Natalie Portman.
[6] I dislike it when people call things "twee", as I have heard used to describe Anderson's work. I believe in submitting to films, in the conscious attempt to suspend disbelief and cynicism in order to accept them on their own terms. This has allowed me to find great enjoyment where others do not; I say they are missing out.

Welcome to my new blog. I will warn you up-front that I am not the most faithful blogger under normal circumstances. I write all of these entries in my head, and maybe one in fourty actually makes it online. Additionally, I am a fairly compartmentalized blogger, blogging different facets of my self in different places, so what you will see here is some fraction of that two-and-a-half percent.

I have no idea how to begin. When guestblogging for Mr. G there were always links to offer and emails to quote, or at least pop culture references to drop. I think I've used up my quota of the latter for a bit, though.

Perhaps we should start with a proper introduction.

Know Your Webgoblin

A little about myself: I live in the D.C. metropolitan region. I have a day job that treats me well, but I'd love to find enough people like Mr. G for whom to freelance that I could quit my job, move somewhere really inexpensive, and live comfortably. I use robots wherever possible for menial tasks -- mowing the lawn, vacuuming, and mopping mostly. I majored in Computer Science and Cultural Anthropology. I've been blogging since 1996. I have an axe to grind with Dave Winer. (Those last two are related.) I have been a weekend hobo and a night-time transvestite. I will never own enough book shelves; every time my shelving catches up with my book piles I come across another library sale. I have a man-crush on Bill Hill and an irrational dislike of Robert Scoble. (Those two are related.) A professional poker player friend once lost his grip and sank into messianic delusions based on a paper I wrote for a Jewish Mysticism class on how to win at poker by viewing it as a mystical joining of the divine sephirot. My neighbors across the street are creepy and keep complaining to the HOA about absurd things like the gravel:dirt ratio of the shoulder in front of my house. I am one vote away from involuntarily dissolving the HOA. (These two are also related.) I wrote myself a tool that nightly crawls (via weblogs.com pings) every blog post made between 2-3am, that hour when one's guard suddenly dissipates, looking for phrases like "I shouldn't be posting" and "unsent letter". In college I thought that my life's ambition should be to meet interesting people.